


I Think I Love You So What Am I So Afraid Of

by wanderlustlights



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 12:09:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20358265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderlustlights/pseuds/wanderlustlights
Summary: He likes to hear Kurt call him David most of all.





	I Think I Love You So What Am I So Afraid Of

**Author's Note:**

> This fic starts post 3.14 "On My Way" wherein Dave has transferred back to McKinley for the remainder of his senior year. Written based on [this prompt](https://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/28110.html?thread=32249806#t32249806) from the GKM back in the day. Also, title from “I Think I Love You” by The Partridge Family (which is something I didn’t think I’d ever say, haha.)

Hearing Kurt call him by his last name when he takes off the mask on Valentine’s Day hurts more than it probably should. He watches as Kurt’s face falls, realization dawning on him as the events of the past week unfold in his mind, shock evident on his face. The quiet “Karofsky” that falls from his lips only manages to bring up bad memories, all those times when Kurt would yell at him in the hallways as he spewed insults in response to Dave shoving him into lockers or giving him slushie facials. 

He’s heard Kurt call him Karofsky at least a hundred times over. Somehow that one stings the most.

—

When they first become friends after Dave transfers back to McKinley, Kurt switches to calling him  _ Dave _ . He’s not even sure if Kurt realizes he’s changed it. It’s what he calls Dave to everyone else, the name he tends to use when referring to him in conversation with others. 

He overhears him in the choir room talking to Mr. Schue and the rest of the club as he convinces them to let him join. 

“Dave is actually a very good singer, guys. I think it’s only fair that we allow him to audition. We could always use more voices in here, you know.”

Rachel gapes at him. “You cannot be serious! He was awful to you-” she starts but Kurt only cuts her off, holding up a hand.

“Dave and I may have had our differences in the past, yes, I’ll give you that. But he’s different. Besides,” he says after a sigh, “if I can give him a second chance then why can’t all of you do him the same courtesy?”

Dave smiles to himself from his place at the doorway. 

—

He shouldn’t like when Kurt says his given name as much as he does.

The thing is,  _ David _ is different.  _ David _ is sacred, something special. It’s a name that was previously only reserved for his parents, but somehow that’s changed somewhere along the line. He likes to hear Kurt call him  _ David _ most of all. The first time he can recall Kurt saying his name is in Figgins’ office when he comes back to McKinley toward the end of junior year. He can’t help the tiny twinge that surges through him at the name, though he’s not sure why; it’s only a name, after all.

Hearing Rachel call him that when she’s saying something completely condescending to him about music or musicals or whatever it is in Glee Club one day makes him snap a bit and he narrows his eyes at her, unable to help the gruff way he bites out a “ _ Do not _ call me that.” The look of confusion on her face is evident and she’s clearly not sure what she’s done wrong. Hell, even Dave isn’t sure why it bothers him so much. But somehow that name seems so much more intimate than any other. The rest of the club is looking at him strangely and he gets so flustered that he grabs his bag and storms out of the room.

Kurt follows him out into the hallway, much to his surprise. “Seriously, David? What the  _ hell _ is your problem?” he says, pulling at Dave’s shoulder to turn him around to look at him.

“That. That’s my problem.”

Kurt blinks. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re the only one allowed to call me that,” Dave mumbles.

“I don’t understand,” Kurt says slowly.

Dave shrugs at Kurt’s growing look of confusion. “Yeah. Just you. No one else. I just - I don’t like it when anyone else calls me that but you.”

Kurt flushes a bit. “Uhm. I… I’ll let Rachel know,” he finally settles on saying after a moment when he’s gotten his bearings once again and smiles softly. “Now will you please come back? Just for future reference, Rachel doesn’t really like it when anyone but her has an epic diva style storm out. She looked a little appalled when you left.”

He nods after a beat. “Good to know.”

Kurt smiles again, pulling him by the shoulder and opening the choir room door.

Dave takes his seat once again, a little sullen and embarrassed, until Kurt takes the seat next to him. He can’t help the way that his mood turns from mortified to pleased in a matter of seconds. 

They’re getting coffee later that day, Dave watching as Kurt silently picks at the sleeve surrounding his cup as he stares down at it.

“What’s with you?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Kurt eyes him carefully. “Can I ask you something?”

“I guess.” 

They’re not usually this awkward. Their friendship may have been tentative at first but Dave had thought they’d gotten over that initial uncomfortable stage to where they aren’t so weird around one another. 

“It’s just - what you said earlier. About your name, I mean.”

“What about it?”

“I guess I just don’t understand. Why does it matter if anybody else calls you that?”

“Look, can we not talk about this? I already told you earlier, I just don’t like it.” Dave sighs, standing from the table and downing more of his coffee. “I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later.”

Kurt stares at him for a moment, watching him walk away, before clenching his jaw and following him outside. “You stop right there, David Karofsky. Do not walk away from me when I’m talking to you.” His words are stern enough to stop Dave in his tracks and reluctantly he turns to face the other boy. Kurt’s eyes are on fire, glaring holes through his resolve. “Now what the hell is your problem?”

“I just don’t like it - okay? I don’t like it. It’s too much coming from anyone else, it’s too -  _ fuck _ , I don’t even know.”

Kurt looks at him, bewildered. “Why should it matter if anyone else says it? It’s just a name. You’re acting like a crazy person.”

“God, I  _ know _ it’s just a name. But I also know how I feel about you and you saying it is amazing and other people saying it is weird and I hate it. And I hate that I hate it. Because it shouldn’t matter, because you’ve got a fucking boyfriend and nothing’ll ever happen between you and me and I know that. But having someone I love call me that and having people I don’t really give a shit about say it is something completely different.”

Kurt’s silent as he stares at him, before shaking his head and giving Dave a tiny smile. “You know I think that’s the first time you’ve ever actually said it out loud.”

“What?”

“When you said it on Valentine’s Day I honestly thought you didn’t mean it,” Kurt says quietly. “I guess I didn’t really believe you.” 

Dave stares, paling as he realizes just what it was that he said. “You really think I would’ve done all that if I didn’t?”

Kurt shrugs. “I don’t know, I mean we barely even knew each other then. It seemed sort of crazy to me that you could think you were in love with someone you hardly knew.”

“Well I am,” Dave mutters.

“David…”

“Just - you don’t need to say anything. I know you don’t feel the same way about me, I get it. I gotta go.”

He’s gone before Kurt can say anything else, speechless as he watches Dave drive away. He doesn’t know why he suddenly feels so empty.

—

Things fall apart between Kurt and Blaine quickly after that. Blaine accuses Kurt of cheating on him, making a public display of it no less, and although it isn’t true, Kurt can’t hide the hurt on his face. He can’t believe Blaine would ever think he would be unfaithful and tells him that in the hallway after practice.

“He’s just a friend, Blaine!” he says, to which Blaine scoffs.

“Yeah, I’m so sure. You’re such a great friend, going on coffee dates with him and holding his hand and hanging out at each other’s houses.”

Kurt glares. “He went through hell, Blaine! He was outed against his own will and almost died because of it! And I’m sorry if you don’t understand what it means to be a good friend because clearly you don’t or you wouldn’t be here yelling at me about it and saying I’m cheating on you. I’m sorry if I actually like being around him and like to comfort him by holding his hand, because he needs that right now. He needs me, and I can’t believe that you would accuse me of cheating on you because I happen to have a friend who’s a guy.”

Blaine narrows his eyes. “Yeah, a friend who’s confessed to having feelings for you. Who gave you gifts for an entire week for Valentine’s Day while I sat at home in bed recovering.”

“Yes, from an eye injury brought on by who again? Oh, right. Sebastian. The same Sebastian who has been flirting with you nonstop for months now and who you’ve not done very much to stop it from happening. But sure, I’m the cheater here.” He huffs, unable to hide the annoyance on his face. “You know what? I’m done. I’m done explaining myself or trying to defend my friendship with Dave to you. I have done nothing wrong here. Let me know if you ever get your head out of your ass.”

He leaves Blaine in the hallway calling his name and when he turns the corner, finds Dave, who had been standing out of plain sight during their fight. 

“Oh. David.” 

“You okay? I, uh, I kinda heard.”

Kurt grimaces. “Yes, well, I think the whole school heard that mess.” He sighs, swiping at his vest to rid it of the nonexistent lint there and crosses his arms over his chest with a frown. 

Dave tilts his head toward the door. “Come on.”

“Come on what?”

“Let’s play hooky. You want coffee?”

“Is that even a question?” Kurt asks, falling in line with him to walk toward the doors. 

—

Dave stays by his side for the next few weeks, though more by Kurt’s insistence than Dave’s. He’ll ask Dave to get coffee with him or see a movie with him or even just hang out at each other’s houses. It’s not much different than before, they’re still doing the same things as before but more often now that Kurt has more free time. Nothing’s changed. 

Except it has. 

Kurt’s single now. He doesn’t have a boyfriend anymore. That fact alone makes Dave increasingly nervous every time they’re alone together. He doesn’t know what to do anymore, doesn’t know how to act around him now without that niggling thought of  _ He has a boyfriend _ in his mind that used to be a constant, permanent fixture. It used to save him from doing something stupid, from saying the wrong thing or acting what could be considered inappropriate to someone who’s taken and in love with somebody else. 

The way Kurt sits slightly closer to him now or accidentally falls asleep on his shoulder when they’re watching a movie doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t mean that Kurt actually has feelings for him; it’s just a coincidence. He has to make himself believe that or he’ll only end up getting hurt even more than he already has. He can’t deny the way his heart beats just a little faster in those moments, though. That’s one thing he can’t ignore.

He’s grateful for the time he gets to spend with Kurt, grateful for every time Kurt will smile at him in that special little smile that’s reserved only for him or hold his hand on the bad days and sit in silence with him.

He has to avert his eyes every time because he knows Kurt doesn’t feel the same way about him that he does about Kurt.

Until it happens. Until Kurt’s running toward him in the hall one day in May with a giant grin on his face as he makes his way toward Dave through the crowd of other students, yelling his name. 

“I - I got in!” Kurt exclaims breathlessly when he bounds up to him, waving around the letter of acceptance as Dave smiles back at him.

“You got in? Dude, that’s awesome!”

Kurt smiles wider, bouncing slightly on his toes for a second before launching himself into Dave’s arms. Dave instinctively hugs back, not sure what else to do but revel in the proximity of Kurt and just how close he is. He can’t believe how far they’ve come, how different his life is from just a year ago, and holds Kurt just a little tighter. Before he even knows what’s happening, Kurt’s pulling away to look at him, though his smile has faded a bit and he’s shaking slightly. Kurt looks slightly shocked with himself by his own actions, as though they’d been completely unintended.

“Sorry,” Kurt mutters, cheeks slowly turning pink, but Dave shrugs. “Sorry, it’s just… we’re going to be in New York together,” he says, giving Dave a small, uncontained smile. “We’re going to be in New York together and it’s going to be amazing.”

“I don’t know why you care if we’re in the same place, Hummel,” Dave mumbles, letting go of him. 

Kurt just raises an eyebrow at him, not moving away. “Because,  _ Karofsky _ ,” he says, voice laced with sarcasm, though looking a bit embarrassed all the same, “you’re my… friend. You’re my friend and I care about you and I just - I want to keep spending time with you and I - I just…  _ oh screw it _ ,” he whispers, grabbing the back of Dave’s neck and pulling him down into a kiss. 

Dave freezes, not sure what to do for a moment before shutting his eyes tightly and kissing back hesitantly as his hands go to rest lightly on Kurt’s sides. 

When Kurt pulls back after a long moment, his eyes are still closed, breathing uneven. “David, I - I think I love you.”

Dave stares at him, mouth open slightly in shock, and watches as Kurt finally looks at him after Dave doesn’t say anything, waiting for him to answer. Dave is suddenly brought back to that night on Valentine’s Day when he confessed those same words and lets out a short laugh, wondering if he misheard him, but Kurt looks at him slightly appalled that Dave seems to find his words amusing. Dave just pulls him back in for another kiss, mumbling against his lips. “I love you, too.”

Kurt’s arms wrap around his neck loosely as he smiles.

Kurt saying his name like that, breathless and spilling secrets, is one of his favorite moments by far.

—

Kurt is a constant comfort. Dave’s not entirely convinced of the feelings that Kurt claims to have for him but he’s there for him during the good and bad times, is there for him on the hard days where he just wants to let the world swallow him whole. 

He’s there when he and his mom talk and she mentions going somewhere to be “cured” again and he ends up curled up in a ball on his bed until Kurt comes over and wraps his arms around him as he falls asleep crying into Kurt’s chest. He’s there when Dave wakes up and finds Kurt giving his mom a piece of his mind outside in the hallway, though in classic Kurt fashion with less yelling and more biting words, steely eyes, his tone low and disapproving. He’s there, telling Dave that there is nothing wrong with him and that he loves him, wholeheartedly. 

He’s there, holding his hand as they walk through the hallways in the last few weeks of school, kissing him against his locker with a smile, fixing anyone who doesn’t like it with a challenging stare.

And he’s there, smiling and cheering when his name is called at graduation after Dave’s done the same for him. Kurt’s exclamations as he crosses the stage to get his diploma ring louder than any other cheers in the room.

—

The first time they have sex Kurt can’t stop saying his name. A muttered  _ David _ falls from his lips as Dave kisses him. A moaned  _ David _ as he kisses his neck. A whimpered  _ David _ as Dave stretches him open slowly. A long drawn out  _ David _ as he enters him. A broken  _ David _ as they move together quickly. A wailed  _ David  _ as he comes, clenching around Dave as he shivers, riding it out as they come down. A whispered  _ I love you, David _ as they lay together afterward, wrapped up in each other. Dave relishes every one of them, wondering how he ever got to be so lucky as to have this beautiful boy love him like he does.

—

This right here, though…  _ this _ is his favorite moment most of all. 

Standing under an ivy covered trellis on a New York City rooftop years later, surrounded by their friends and family, Kurt’s hands clasping his own, everything else fades away. All of the mistakes he’s made, hiding who he was behind a mask, all that fear he always felt, just seems insignificant now. 

Hearing Kurt’s words as he smiles at him, looking right in Dave’s eyes, is a moment that will stay in his memory forever.

“I, Kurt Eli Hummel, take you, David Paul Karofsky, as my lawfully wedded husband...”

That right there is Dave’s favorite way Kurt has ever said his name.

_ fin. _

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I changed Kurt's middle name to Eli instead of Elizabeth. Because I've always sort of believed that he only said it for show because it was probably his mother's name and his middle name was actually Eli or Elijah or something, not actually Elizabeth. Don't hate me??


End file.
